Take me out to the ball game...

Well tomorrow night is my first softball game of the season. I'm really excited! I used to play all the time when I was younger, but then stopped once I got to high school. I'm even more excited that Richard and I are doing it together. He's been doing so well at watching what he's eating. Actually we both are. I'm down about 5 lbs, and he's probably down about 10. We are both feeling it in our clothing... which I love! And for once, I'm not trying to sabotage it. I usually do the whole, Oh i'm doing good, I can eat those chips, or so on... this time... I'm actually making good choices. I'm going to ride this wave out... I'm hoping that it's going to stay for a while!

Little bit of a scare last week... got a call very early in the morning (3 am) and my mom was heading off to hospital via ambulance. She was having chest pains, so off we went and made the hour drive to the hospital by her place. In all, this has been a good thing... it scared her a bit, and she took it seriously. She's been under a lot of stress at work, so she's taken time off, and has been written off of work. All the blood work has come back that the pains had not caused any damage to her heart. She's doing a stress test tomorrow to see if there is any blockages. Fingers crossed that there isn't. She was over for dinner last night, and looked great though... you can tell a lot of weight has been lifted off of her shoulders!

Other than that, things have been great... working at being positive... 34 more days left until I'm done work! YIPEE! The countdown is on!

Hope all is well with everyone...

Linds

I've found the neatest website. It's kinda like fitday, where you keep track of all of your foods that you've eaten for the day, but I like it more. Actually... Richard found it... yes... I'm trying not to fall off my chair! So we've been keying our stuff in. It's amazing the portion sizes of things... hmmm maybe that's why I'm so chunky! http://www.thedailyplate.com Check it out.. they tell you how much calories you should be eating in order to lose/maintain/ or even gain. No help needed there! There is even forums. I'm a sucker for a good forum!

All is well! Richard and I have been throwing the ball around, which feels great. We also went for a big walk last evening. It's so nice to get out, and the walking time is a good time for us to unwind and gab about our day. Richard bought a bike on the weekend... he's been talking about getting one for a couple years now, so he went ahead and did that. His plan is to bike to work, as he doesn't live too far. Lol i went to get my bike out... and I had to dust the cobwebs off... it's been over 7 years since I've sat on that bike. Needless to say it needs some new tires, and a tune up... haha and for someone to cut off the lock on it. No idea where the key is!

Hope everyone is doing well,

L

Dreaded Shopping...

Well I did it... I went shopping today. Man oh man would I be in trouble if I was thin! I love to shop, but since I'm in bigger sizes, I don't really enjoy clothing shopping! So unfortunately I stick to shoes, and purses... and unfortunately for me, I've been bit by the Coach bug, so my eyes like to wander on purses that are way too expensive. So anyways, a few weeks ago, I went to Old Navy to get some shirts for work. In my line of work, I need to dress comfortably, but at the same time look nice. I'm working with little kids, so often, I'm crawling on the ground... I've had paint flung on me, I chase kids through puddles, and sometimes as much as I hate to admit it, my sleeve is used as a Kleenex... no matter how hard I try to get a Kleenex in between us... that's the way it always works out.

So my trip to Old Navy was a bust. I used to love that store so much because there was always lots of big sizes... the clothes looked nice, and were pretty reasonable. Well anyways, I have no idea what happened, but my trip was a bust! All of the shirts are so thin, and stretchy. Everything just clings to you, and you can see right threw it. Not really the look I'm going for. So needless to say, I was kind of disappointed.

This week I broke out the Capri's because it was really nice out. And I realized that I didn't really have that many tops to wear, so I was getting together with my mom, and she suggested we go out shopping for a bit, as she was going to be visiting to help me make a big pot of spaghetti sauce. So we went to Marks Work Wear house, and I started trying some pants on (big mistake... I was in there for shirts), and I was getting totally discouraged. I like wearing my pants low, and i guess the cut of the pants are meant to be worn high on the waist... so right off the bat it was giving me big rolls at the waist of the pants... muffin tops as I like to call them. I don't' get it. Here i am wearing some size 16 pants from one store, and they are basically falling off me... and I get a size 16, and 18 on at this place and I look like I'm stuffed into the things. So discouraging! Why can't the sizes all be uniform? I'm really self conscious about my rolls. I know I have them, my muffin tops and back fat... I like to cover them up. I'll be the first one to wear baggy stuff so that I don't need to see them... and those pants were not helping the situation. Anyways, I did get some tops, and they look good, I just wish I hadn't tried on those pants. I've been trying really hard, and feeling like I've been accomplishing things, and that just kinda made me feel like I'd gotten no where.

Anyways... I guess I just need to keep going in the direction that I'm going in... my pants are loose... that's a good indicator right?

Hope everyone's weekend is going well... I think my alergies are starting up... ah well... I'll take them! Spring is finally here!

L

ps... how hot is that abercrombie bag? Too bad I definately don't fit into their clothing... I do enjoy their bags though!

Okay I agree 100% with Sonya... the bright writing was a little hard to see with the light background. Thanks for pointing that out to me... lol I wasn't sure if I was the only one that thought that or not. Constructive criticism always welcome!

I finished my exam tonight... not without there being an error with the program, and a few phone frantic phone calls to my prof in Toronto.... but in the end it was all good. I'm not a big fan of Vista, and I guess Vista doesn't agree with the university software. Either way, it's all over and done with, and now I have a bit of a break before my next two classes start up.

Exciting news, Richard and I are going to be playing in a mixed slow pitch league. That will be fun, and a great way to get some physical activity in. I used to play softball when I was younger, and loved it. We're going to need to get out there to throw the ball around soon... the season starts in May!

Hope all is well...

L

YAY!

Yipee! My background change finally worked! Kinda springy... I love it! Spring is here finally. The tulips are starting to come up, admist all of the big snow banks that have yet to melt.

The weekend was great. We went grocery shopping today, and stocked up the fridge with more healthy food. Last week I cut up a whole bunch of veggies so that we'd have them on hand if the snacking bug hit. So I'm going to do the same thing this week. Another thing that I've found is that Oasis juice that is 2 servings of fruits and vegetables per cup. I find it's a good way to get a good start on the day, as I usually wait to eat breakfast at work.

Goals for the week:

-continue eating my fruits and veggies

-get my water in

-think before snacky foods go into my mouth... do I really need this?

Little changes... that's what i need.

L

Things are going well. This attitude feels great. I've been pretty good with my eating, and watching what goes into my mouth. I'm trying my best to make good choices, but at the same time not beating myself up if I don't make the best choice. It was a co-workers bday on Thursday and so someone brought in a cake, and cupcakes... normally I'd be right in there, possibly having a bit of both, but I just cut a little piece off, and that was good enough. I think that if I could just have a taste to satisfy my craving for it, then I'm okay... it's just being able to stop once you start.

I'm not sure when I'm going to check in on the scale... I think I'm just going to chill and see what happens. I was starting to depend way too much on what the scale said, and little discrepancies to what I was feeling would just send me reeling, and straight to the junk food, so I think it is best to stay away for a bit. I'll let the way my pants feel do the talking.

For some reason I still can't change the layout on the blog... what's up with that? Too bad... I had a good spring one all picked out.

I'm off for now... I have an exam on monday, so I guess that there's some studying that has to be done this weekend.

Happy weekend!

L

New Start

Well I'm trying something a little different. Fresh start... new beginning.

I was browsing through the past 2 years of posts that I had, and I came to realize this... Many aspects of my life have changed, but somethings have unfortunately remained the same. Somethings have changed for the good, and some... not exactly the best. When I started this blog 2 years ago, I was 199 lbs. And here I sit at 211. That's not too shabby though... At the beginning of the year I was 216.

So, I've gotten rid of the old, and I'm going to focus in on the new. My blog kinda got to the point where it wasn't fun blogging anymore. I was focusing, and caring about things that shouldn't have made a difference to me. I felt immence guilt when I wasn't on here blogging, and yet I didn't feel like blogging because I felt like it was something that I had to do. It kinda got to a point where I didn't feel like anyone was reading what I was putting out there, so I stopped. This is where it's going to change for me... I'm not going to focus on the comments, or lack of at times, and do this for me... cause really when it comes down to it, that's all I can do right?

I have a new philosophy that I'm trying to work on... and that's taking this journey day by day. Am I going to be perfect... hell no! I can bet my life on that. Am I going to slip up... yup! But it's in how I dwell on it, and turn it around that really makes the difference. I unfortunately dwell on the negative way too much, and that's something that I've been making a real effort at changing. I can't change anything but what I'm doing RIGHT at this moment, and there is no sense in worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow... just take it as it comes I suppose.

I've learned that I don't respond too well to challenges, and deadlines that I place on myself. That's okay. I wish I could do it, but unfortunately it doesn't work... it didn't work for my wedding, so I don't think I can make it work for any other occasion.

I'm going to be focusing on Non Scale Victories...those are big ones in themselves. Also, I'm going to focus on 10 pound increments. I'm not going to look any further than those 10 pounds. I've never lost more than 10 pounds (with the exception of having the flu!!) so why am I setting myself up for failure by saying I want to loose 40 lbs? Yeah 40 lbs would be great, but for me 10 lbs would be fantastic. So that's my goal... 10 lbs... if I do it sometime by my 80th birthday, that would be great. So we'll see where it goes!

Life wise, things have been going pretty good. My downward slide of my emotions/mood has finally made it's upswing back up and I'm feeling better. I'm starting to wonder if I had SAD? I notice a big difference with time change, and the sun being around more often. And the attempt of being more positive has been good too. Another big change in my life that has also affected the way that I feel is that I've decided, and been granted time off to go to school next year. I'll be finished all of my courses, with the exception of my independent study , which I'll do the following year, but after that I'll be done. That is a big relief, seeing how I really do not enjoy my job, and it was a struggle getting out of bed to go there.

So that's it.. I can't promise I'll blog every day... some days I just don't have anything to say... and that's okay. So 211... here's to 201!!! See you in 10!!

L

Oh and I had a fun new background all picked out and I keep getting error messages... so I'll try again tomorrow... so this will have to do for now!